Crush
by RosalindHawkins
Summary: Tamashipping. Seto Kaiba x Amane Bakura. Post-canon/AU. "Amane Bakura had fallen in love with her boss: the stoic Seto Kaiba. Yes, she loved him, but she'd learn not to. It was better that way."
1. Unrequited

**Author Notes:** This story was loosely inspired by this Euroshipping fanfic by _**sitabethel**_ , "Scylla and Charybdis" (rated M, just to warn you!): s/11578002/1/Scylla-and-Charybdis. If you're chill with the rating and the pairing, then you should totally check it out!

* * *

Amane Bakura, a pretty little thing now in her late twenties, had fallen hopelessly in love with her boss. Well, she wouldn't call it love, at least not out loud; she was always careful with how she used that word, the concept sacred to her and not to be taken lightly.

There were some things she had no qualms saying that she loved.

She loved her job as a game programmer at KaibaCorp. It was work that she not only enjoyed but was good at, and her skills with both people and computer code had earned her more than one promotion. The trust in her that each promotion implied made her work all the harder in order to prove that she was worthy of it, and more. She'd become a bit of a workaholic, volunteering as a beta tester for many of the games she helped program, and many of the ones she hadn't, and spending her weekends with Ramen noodles, video games, and caffeine, getting little sleep as she cataloged each game's glitches and flaws. It was fun for her all the same. She loved her work.

She also loved her older brother, Ryou, who worked at KaibaCorp in another division: game design and concepts. Their orbits rarely overlapped in the course of work, which was all for the best. It meant that they still had things to talk about with each other when they would meet for their weekly dinner together. Ryou used to join her in their beta-testing weekend sprees, which had always been fun. Now that he had a fiance, though, he wasn't able to join her for those most of the time. Occasionally he'd pop in for a couple of hours, but then he'd leave again to join his fiance for something or other. If it wasn't a date, then it was something to do with planning the wedding. Amane was a bridesmaid, more because she was Ryou's sister and his only family than because she had a particularly strong bond with the bride. She liked her future sister-in-law well enough, but there was some disconnect in their personalities, some difference in the ways their minds worked, that kept them from ever being close friends. Even so, Amane had no objections to her, even though she had all but stolen Ryou from Amane's life.

She also loved her cat, a calico rescue she'd adopted as a scrawny little kitten. Ginger was both declawed and neutered, even though Amane would have loved to have more little kittens running around her apartment. She knew that it was too much for her to handle on her own, so she'd foregone the possibility entirely. She regretted it a little every now and then, but she knew deep down that it was for the best.

And yes, Amane suspected that she'd fallen in love with the stoic Seto Kaiba. She'd had a crush on him for over a year now, but a true crush was a shallow thing, wasn't it? They were flighty, temporary infatuations, and never did a crush last nearly as long as a year. That was why she thought it must be love, because she wasn't infatuated with him. She saw his good points and his bad, knowing that he wasn't perfect but also knowing that he wasn't heartless. He was human, possessing all of the good and bad points that came with that condition. He was handsome as well, she wouldn't deny that. Not just handsome, but attractive. She always did her best to cut those thoughts short before they went too far, but she also couldn't deny the fact that she was lonely and that it had been a long time since she'd last had any intimacy.

Amane'd had maybe three relationships in her life, one in high school and two in college. None of them had been terribly successful. The last one had been the most promising; they had been together for almost a year when she caught him cheating on her and she'd ended things. It still hurt a little to think about that unhappy day. She'd forgiven him long ago, her bitterness towards him not lasting more than a few years. She'd come to the understanding that she really wasn't what many men were looking for in a woman. Though she was an adult, her slender, flat figure made her look younger than she was in a childish way that made her sigh with disappointment. She was far too intelligent for her own good; if there was one thing that turned guys off, it was a woman who was smarter than them. And if that didn't turn them away, then the fact that she could beat them at any card, board, rp, dice, or video game would do the trick. She won more often than not, and the only opponent she'd ever faced who matched her evenly was her own brother.

Besides all that, it was hard for her to meet people outside of work these days. There wasn't anybody at work—aside from Seto himself—that piqued her interest, or who was interested in her for that matter, and in the latter case Seto was no exception. He didn't treat her any differently than he treated any of his other employees. No lingering looks or longing gazes were ever cast her way, not by Seto, not by anybody. Even though she'd forced herself years ago to come to terms with the fact that she'd probably never marry, she still found herself incredibly lonely at times, still caught herself aching for a close companionship that she simply didn't and couldn't have. And when that time of the month rolled around, she'd always take a break from her video games to watch romantic movies—sometimes the comedic kind and sometimes the tragedic—and eat bowls of home-made ice cream, letting herself cry as much as she needed to for all the times throughout the rest of the month that she denied herself tears.

It was frustrating as much as it was discouraging. She didn't think she was that unattractive a person, but she held no illusions to her being anything near the beauty of a supermodel. She had decent looks, and she wasn't a bad person. She may be introverted, but she was pleasant enough to be around, even for people she'd never met before. So why was she still alone? Even if she didn't like the man, she would've liked to at least be asked out on a date once in a while. If she was of the disposition to do so, she probably could have managed to visit a bar or club and land herself a one-night stand, but that wasn't what she wanted at all. She wanted love, not lust; she wanted commitment, not wantonness; she wanted a best friend, not a friend with benefits.

As Ryou had been gradually withdrawn from her life, her loneliness had become all the more acute. She derided herself daily for her sentimental sensitivity, for her inability to toughen up and move on from her childhood dream of someday being a wife and mother. But every time she was around Ryou and his fiance, Yugi and Tea, Joey and Mai, Duke and Miho, or Tristan and Serenity, she felt the hole in her chest ache for the fulfillment she believed she'd never get. It wasn't fair, but there was nothing she could do about it.

After all, approaching Seto Kaiba and telling him about her feelings or asking him out was completely out of the question. For one thing, he was her boss. For another, she'd had a crush on him so long now that she wouldn't be surprised if it came across as creepy. Lastly, she simply couldn't handle the rejection, and she knew just how slim were the chances that he'd ever given her so much as a second thought as a person worthy of romantic interest. If she already knew he'd turn her down, why bother? Where was the benefit? In fact, only bad things could come of her telling him how she felt, and that was the position she'd hold firmly to until her heart finally gave up on Seto Kaiba.

She hoped that she eventually would lose interest in Seto, given enough time. If she could keep herself away from him, keep herself from making any sort of contact with him, from speaking to him directly or even looking him in the eye, it would certainly help her stubborn heart to give up all hope of ever being with him. She could do this. It would hurt a little, but being rejected would hurt a heck of a lot more. Yes, she loved him, but she'd learn not to. It was better that way.


	2. Secrets

**Author Notes:** I've decided to keep things in the abstract for most of the second chapter, since it worked so well the first time around. I hope none of you find that frustrating. I promise I'll start telling an actual story in the next chapter! (Here's a little teaser: Ryou's wedding is in the next chapter, and Amane and Seto learn disturbing secrets about each other. I hope that's enough to keep you reading!)

* * *

Amane's plan to forget all about Seto Kaiba was foiled by fate. A week after making her resolution, she was thrown unavoidably into his path, transfixed by the blinding spotlight of his direct attention and left feeling far too vulnerable for her heart to feel safe. A presentation to update corporation heads on the progress of the current project had led to a private discussion in his office at the end of the day to discuss a promotion. She resisted, he insisted.

One thing led to another, and they were soon sharing a bottle of wine as they talked about everything and anything. They talked about the Battle City Tournament over a decade ago, how the game of Duel Monsters had changed over the years, the trip to Egypt that had changed their lives, what it was like growing up without a proper family. Through all of it, both avoided directly discussing the tender subject of the Spirit of the Millennium Ring. For Amane, too much pain was still attached to those memories to face it head-on. They strayed towards more pleasant subjects, and Amane realized she'd never seen him laugh or smile so much in her whole time knowing him as she did in that evening alone.

They were both careful with the amount of wine they consumed, drinking no more than was respectable, both careful not to let their judgment be impaired by the potent ruby liquid. Seto and Amane were similar in that way: they both hated relinquishing control of themselves or their situation. Yet, as the evening wore on and their conversation continued, they both realized that they had wound up much closer to each other than either had intended. The close proximity was enough to make both think of what they really wanted from each other.

One kiss was enough to undo all of Amane's hard work that had gone into forgetting that she was attracted to him, forgetting that she didn't truly want to stay alone for the rest of her life, forgetting that she was secretly very envious of her brother and the happiness he'd found. One kiss was enough to make Seto acknowledge the fact that he was lonely at the top of his company, in his big empty mansion while Mokuba was away at university. Enough to make him embrace her tentatively and embrace the fact that he respected and admired her, just as much as he was attracted to her.

One kiss led to another, one that lingered slowly and sweetly, followed by a cautious, chaste embrace. Seto stared out of the large full windows at the setting sun. He felt vaguely confused and uncertain. Was this right for him to have done? Was it okay to indulge these soft feelings when he couldn't make any promises to her just yet? Amane stared at Seto's clothed chest as she pressed her forehead to it. So what now? Had his gesture been one of affection or a foolish impulse brought on by the wine? Did he feel for her anything akin to what she felt for him? Her doubts were dispelled as his smooth, low voice spoke in a tone she'd never heard from him before: uncertainty.

"Are you free for dinner tomorrow night?"

* * *

Over the course of the next two months, they went on more than a dozen dates. Things got serious between them, but they agreed to keep it all to themselves. They didn't want to risk office gossip, tabloid speculation, or the shame of revealing a relationship when it was still so young only to have it fail miserably. By this point, however, they both had a strong feeling that this was going to work out in the long run. They were both workaholics, so when Seto couldn't make any plans with her for a week because of late video conferences with foreign associates, business trips, or any of the other numerous things he did as the president and CEO of KaibaCorp, she completely understood. She missed him, certainly, but it wasn't as if she didn't have work of her own to do instead. In fact, she liked to use those evenings to get ahead on her own work so that she was always available on the nights that he was.

He managed to convince her to accept the promotion he'd offered her. When she looked at things objectively, she grudgingly accepted that yes, none of her team members was working on this project as much as she was. She'd been the one to take initiative and carry the largest burden possible on her shoulders. Most of this stemmed from her workaholism and her lack of faith in her coworkers—her father abandoning her and her brother at a young age had caused her to develop severe trust issues—but when she was doing all this and doing well at it, the company didn't care why she was doing it. She'd displayed exemplary leadership skills, he said. She wouldn't have said that about herself, but then again, she wouldn't have acknowledged her own efforts even if she'd single-handedly rescued an orphan from a burning building. That was just the way she was, although she was unable to determine whether it was her nature, or her second-nature.

They turned out to complement each other nicely. Both were introverted, both devoted to their work, both functionally orphans with one brother as their true family. But where she was self-deprecating, he was self-confident. Where she was expressive, he was reserved. Where she was warm, he kept his cool. Where she was yielding, he was assertive. Where he was reticent, she was vocal. When he initiated, she reciprocated. Their dynamic was more than merely functional; it was ideal, better than Amane had ever dared hope for.

Intimacy was also far better than she'd ever dared to hope for. He was by far the best she'd ever had, though her experience was admittedly quite limited. She suspected that his experience was just as extensive as hers, if not less so. He'd revealed that this was his first committed relationship and that its precursors had all been brief. She hadn't pushed for details, seeing how uncomfortable he'd looked when he was answering her question. She could guess that, as good of a person he was now, prolonged singularity had made him restless and lonely, as it had made her. She couldn't condemn him for what he'd done in all those years to try and satisfy his body's needs, nor could she press him to tell her specifically what he'd done. It wasn't her business. She merely accepted him as he was, just as he accepted her.

She wouldn't have classified herself as an insomniac before, but she had never before slept so well in her life as she did when she spent the night with Seto. She realized now that she _had_ been an insomniac, that she'd always been so willing to forgo sleep for work because she'd known that she would spend hours awake at night just trying to fall asleep. The empty bed had simply reminded her that she was alone, and so long as she kept returning to that empty bed, she was forced each time to acknowledge all over again that she was alone and would most likely remain that way. Now, though, she was getting much more sleep than she had before, and was consequently more energetic than she'd been previously. She was more cheerful as well, but that was due to more than just the increase in sleep. There were times when she would smile to herself for no apparent reason, and Ryou would catch her at it, looking at her with a suspicious, questioning expression. Her response to this was always the same: she would avert her eyes with a faint blush and quickly change the subject.

It was after one of her dinners with her brother and future sister-in-law that Ryou finally confronted her about it. Amane offered to do the dishes while Lauren served the pie she'd made. Ryou had offered to help Amane with the dishes so that they could all get to eat dessert sooner. As soon as Amane placed the dishes in the sink and picked up the sponge, Ryou suddenly placed his hands on the counter on either side of her, making her start and whirl around to face him, still holding the sponge.

"You scared me!" The hushed words were accompanied by a blush; she felt her chest tighten as she saw the expression on her older brother's face. He was up to some mischief, that much was certain.

"What's going on with you?" he asked, keeping her pinned against the sink. "You've been acting strangely for a while now."

"Strangely how?" Amane asked innocently.

Ryou's eye brows knit together as he struggled to put into words just what it was he was picking up from her. "You seem… happier…"

"And what's wrong with that?" she asked, crossing her arms as she feigned indignation.

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with it," he defended. "Just that there was something going on with you that I didn't know about."

"I finally got over my insomnia," Amane answered. It was true, but it was more of a side-effect to the answer he was truly looking for. Ryou lifted an eyebrow at that, seeming unsatisfied with her response. She wasn't telling him everything, he could tell. With Amane, he'd always been able to tell. Then he sighed, sadness flickering in his chocolatey eyes.

"I remember when we used to tell each other everything," he murmured, almost regretfully.

"That's because we only ever had each other," Amane answered with a bitter smile. She took a deep breath, then said, "Just give me one week, and I'll explain it to you. I promise." She intended on keeping her promise no matter what Seto said. If Seto didn't want her explaining things in full to her brother, then she'd explain to him that she was in a relationship but had to keep her boyfriend's identity a secret.

She needed to consult Seto before she told him anything, though; she wouldn't disrespect him by going back on their agreement. It occurred to her briefly that if they were to be telling her brother, it would only be fair if they told his brother as well. She put her arms around Ryou in a tight, reassuring hug, which he appreciated and reciprocated. Then a wicked thought entered her mind, and she dropped the cold, wet sponge down the back of his shirt, causing him to release her with a startled yell. She burst into a fit of laughter as he struggled to shimmy it out of his garments. When he had, she was still laughing to her heart's content, and he took advantage of the moment to start tickling her mercilessly. She let out a shriek as he surprised her, the two wrestling until they ended up on the kitchen floor, Ryou sitting behind his sister and hugging her from behind as the two continued laughing.

"I hope you two are actually getting the dishes done in there!" Lauren called good-naturedly from the dining room.

"We are!" the siblings called out in sync, which sent them into another peal of laughter. Ryou rested his chin on Amane's shoulder as their laughter died down, asking in a whisper, "You promise to tell me everything next week?"

"I promise." Ryou kissed her cheek before helping her stand, grabbing the sponge in the process so that they could actually get the dishes washed in order to enjoy Lauren's home-made key lime pie.

That was the best evening with Ryou and Lauren that Amane'd ever had. She went to bed that night nestled in Seto's arms feeling happier than she had in her whole life. It was enough to bring tears of joy to her eyes, which confused Seto, but he decided to simply take her word for it that they were the good kind of tears.

This was a whole new experience for her: being happy, feeling loved, getting along perfectly well with all of the people close to her at the same time. Her future looked so bright and cheerful. She wanted to believe that her future would truly be as wonderful as it looked to her from where she stood. She had a nagging sensation that all of her hopes were going to be dashed by some cruel twist of fate, but she couldn't imagine where such a harsh blow would come from. What could possibly go wrong at this point?

With her heart feeling impossibly light, she fell into a deep, sweet sleep, cuddled up against her beloved.

* * *

 **P.S.** I've just loved writing this scene with Amane and Ryou. :3 I've had times when my older brother and I say things in sync by accident, and since Amane and Ryou are even closer than my brother and I, I figured it wouldn't be improbable for them to do the same. ;)


	3. Marriage

**Author Notes:** Shout out to Dark yugi for their constant support of this story! 3 Thank you so much!

* * *

Seto Kaiba sat down on the edge of his desk as he faced his younger brother, home from university for spring break, breathing deeply to keep himself calm. "Mokuba, I have some news for you," he said, sounding calm although his heart beat rapidly in his chest. He felt hot and fought the impulse to loosen his tie; it would give away how nervous he truly felt. He just hoped his complexion didn't betray him. 

"So now are you going to tell me what's going on?" Ryou asked Amane as he sat beside her on the couch in her apartment, eager to hear what his sister had been hiding from him for so long. Eager, but also nervous. There must have been a reason that she'd made him wait a full week before telling him, and only promising that once he'd confronted her about it. He just hoped that she wasn't mixed up with anything bad. 

Mokuba's eyes grew big as saucers before he threw his arms around his brother, pleasantly surprising the nervous CEO, who returned the hug as he let out a low sigh of relief. "That's great news, Seto! I'm so happy for you!" the raven-haired youth exclaimed warmly. "Amane was really nice and smart, from what I remember. I'm sure you two make a great pair." He beamed up at the CEO with his candid smile so freely given to not just his brother but to all. Seto chalked that up to not only a significant difference in disposition, but also to the fact that Mokuba had escaped almost all of Gozaburo Kaiba's abuse. 

Ryou hugged his sister tightly. "I'm so happy for you! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Amane smiled as she answered, blushing fiercely, "We couldn't risk the tabloids getting a hold of the story, or having people gossip about us around the office. Neither of us would have been able to survive malicious gossip, you know that." Ryou chuckled at that. "Well, I know _you_ well enough, but I've never seen anything ruffle Kaiba's feathers." 

Mokuba had experienced some of the emotional abuse from their step-father, such as his separation from Seto and isolation from other children in general. Seto, however, had born the brunt of Gozaburo's mistreatment: emotional, psychological, and _especially_ physical abuse. It had caused the already reserved child to become even more taciturn and stoic than he would have turned out naturally. Seto smirked as he responded, "I like to think that we are." On a quieter, more serious note, he added, "Mokuba, I really think she's the one." 

Amane's eyes got big and soft as she replied, "Oh, I wish that so many people didn't think that he was such a monster. He's not like that at all! Really he's very sweet, he just doesn't feel comfortable being that way around most people." Ryou only smiled more as she talked about her boyfriend. He'd always known that she'd find the one for her. He'd never given up hope for her, even when he could tell that she had. He was glad that she was finally getting her due. She'd waited long enough, and it had hurt him to see the flash of loneliness in her face when she was around him and Lauren. 

Seto and Mokuba sat and talked as brothers for a good long time, like they hadn't in years. The first and last time they'd talked like this had been when Mokuba was in his early teens and first learned the full extent of abuse his brother had suffered at Gozaburo's hands. That information and that discussion had helped him to understand his brother in a way he never had before. He understood his behavior, his outward arrogance, his workaholic tendencies, and his way of interacting with other people. He'd also learned then that Seto sincerely didn't want Mokuba to turn out like the antisocial wreck Seto had become, that Seto didn't want Mokuba to copy that part of himself. 

Ryou was content to laugh and smile as Amane chattered away to him like she hadn't in over a year. She told him all of the things she'd been wanting to tell him as her relationship with Seto had developed over the past three months. She told him about how it had started, the first time they'd exchanged an, "I love you," the adorable moments with Seto that had humanized him, and the thousand other things that mattered to her. It felt so good to get it all off of her chest, to share it with the only family member she had left. She remembered to tell him that it was still a secret, though, and that Ryou and Mokuba were the first ones to know of the relationship and that they were to keep it to themselves.

* * *

As Seto sat on the floor in front of the couch, his laptop open and in front of him as he rapidly typed responses to emails from his international colleagues, Amane sat behind him on the couch, her legs tucked up underneath herself as she played with his hair. They were in the midst of one of the games they liked to play with each other: a game where they asked each other personal questions and had to give an honest answer, each one only getting one abstention per session. Today's session seemed centered around childhood and firsts.

"What was the first favorite color you ever had?" Seto asked as he typed out an email in flawless Espanol.

"Pink," Amane confessed, then made a face. "I have no idea what I was thinking." That elicited an amused chuckle from him. "What was your first Duel Monsters card?"

Seto scowled, as if he wished that he hadn't already used his abstention. He'd asked her when she hit puberty, and though she was flabbergasted by the question, she'd answered it. When she'd used the same question of him, however, he'd abstained, meaning that she could ask him absolutely anything now and get an honest answer. "Kuriboh," he muttered, causing Amane to burst out laughing. "When did you first learn to play chess?"

Amane sobered quickly at that. "I remember… my mother started teaching me when I was seven, a few days before the accident." Seto reached up a hand to clasp one of her own reassuringly. He still remembered the accident that had claimed his parents' lives as well, and he understood how upsetting that was. She stared down at the beautiful man sitting casually cross-legged on the floor in front of her. Surely she wasn't the first to be attracted to him, and she couldn't possibly be the first one he'd ever been attracted to. Her hand in his hair stilled, and Seto sensed the absence of stimulation. He tipped his head back to look at her with blinking blue eyes. Goodness gracious, she loved those eyes. They made her melt inside. "Who was your first crush?" Amane finally asked.

Seto blushed and looked back at his laptop screen, his hands stilled on the keyboard for the first time since the game had started. This made Amane look down at him curiously, waiting for his answer only to hear, "Can I have a second abstention?"

Amane frowned. "No, that's against the rules, and you know it." She paused, then added encouragingly, "Come on, it can't be any worse than mine."

"Perhaps we can institute a new rule, where you can retrieve your abstention by answering the question you'd previously abstained from answering." He was grasping at straws, and the fact that he was going to such lengths to hide it had her worried.

"No, you can't introduce new rules in the middle of the game. That's also against the rules." Amane's concern increased as she stared down at the top of his head, wondering if she should be bracing herself for something embarrassingly cute or something embarrassingly disturbing.

Seto let out a low sigh. "Ryou," he answered simply.

For a few moments, Amane was just as frozen as he'd been when she first asked the question. She couldn't breathe as her mind took that one small fact and began to spin a thousand implication from it. "When?" she asked, her voice having lost its former lightweight cheerfulness.

"During the Battle City Tournament." All Amane could think was that it certainly seemed like a lot of things had happened then that nobody had spoken about. Seto, still embarrassed by his confession, was concerned by her silence, but when he looked back at her, what he saw was her facial reaction to a text she'd just received.

"Damn it!" she exclaimed as she scrambled off of the couch, making Seto blink. She only ever used course language when she was stressed or frustrated. "I forgot about the wedding rehearsal. I'm so sorry, I have to go, I'm already late." She talked as she gathered together her purse and her jacket, pulling on the latter as she continued to avoid Seto's gaze. "I'm sorry, I have to go," she repeated before dashing out of the room, leaving Seto with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"That went well," he muttered sarcastically to himself before resuming his work. Since he hadn't gotten the opportunity to explain things to her, he was afraid that she would misunderstand him, take things the wrong way. He just hoped he'd get a chance to explain it all to her soon.

* * *

Amane avoided Seto after that, not that she could do so for very long. She turned her phone off after the wedding rehearsal and went straight home, breaking out a pint of ice cream from her freezer before sitting down to a movie she'd already seen a dozen times before. The familiarity of it comforted her, even though she didn't pay much attention to it. She was too preoccupied.

Seto's first crush had been Ryou, her own brother. She couldn't help but recall how physically similar she and Ryou had been for most of their childhood, how people had thought that they were twins, how some had even mistaken Amane for her brother at times before she hit puberty—which, as Seto now knew, happened when she was twelve years old (she'd been something of a late bloomer). Had he only fallen for her because she was like her brother? She hated the thought, shying away from it even as she felt that it was probably true. After all, when had anybody expressed romantic interest in her purely for her own sake? Her high-school boyfriend only wanted her to help him pass calculus, her first college boyfriend had dated her for nearly the same reason, and her last boyfriend had been cheating on her all along, she'd just been too blind to see it.

Before, when she'd thought that her relationship with Seto was too good to be true, it was more her expression of shock that things were finally falling into place for her, things were finally going well. Now, she figured that it really _had_ been too good to be true, and she'd just been too blind to see it. Maybe he hadn't even realized that was his true motive in dating her. Amane began to cry over her ice cream as her own innate insecurity made her doubt everything that had happened between the two of them in the last four months. She was a fool for believing that anybody could love her, and Seto was a fool if he really thought she'd believe.

It didn't even bother her that he was bisexual, so long as he wasn't polyamorous (which she had no indication of him being). She felt like she was just a substitution for her brother, and it didn't help that their temperaments, occupations, and interests were also very similar.

Perhaps she wouldn't be so quick to suspect this of him if it weren't the fact that he could easily date super models and celebrities if he wanted to. Even though she had a boyfriend now, she didn't believe herself to be any more beautiful than she'd believed herself to be before this had all started. She'd marveled at how somebody like him could be attracted to somebody like her. Now it made sense. She recalled every interaction between Seto and Ryou that she'd ever witnessed, as far back as Duelist Kingdom and as recently as this week. Had Seto seemed to favor him, seemed warmer towards him than other people? Yes, she thought that he had. He _still_ liked Ryou, which was why he was dating Amane: dating her was the closest he'd ever get to dating Ryou. Of course, Seto'd never had a chance with Ryou, because not only was Ryou getting married tomorrow, he'd also been completely straight his whole life. That's why it had hurt him so much when his bullies in high school had accused him of being effeminate and gay. It just wasn't true.

Amane spent the whole night awake with movies, ice cream, chocolate, and video games. It was probably one of the more foolish decisions she could have made at the time, but she couldn't bear going to her empty bed to try and sleep, when she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep and that it'd simply make her more miserable and take away her distractions.

The next day was her brother's wedding, and she found herself incapable of enjoying it. She was happy for her brother, to be sure, but the whole time they were getting ready for the ceremony, Amane found herself aching with the belief that she'd never get any of this for herself. How did the saying go again? Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride. Well, this was her fourth time, after also being a bridesmaid for Tea, Serenity, and Miho. That meant she was thoroughly doomed.

As she stood in the front of the church with the rest of the wedding party, she caught sight of Seto and Mokuba sitting together at the back of the assembly on Ryou's side. She smiled at them faintly before turning her eyes to the happy couple, keeping them there for the rest of the ceremony. She couldn't look at him, didn't know what she would say if he approached her. More like _when_ he approached her. They may still be keeping their relationship a secret, but it would be perfectly acceptable for them to talk to each other since they were publicly friends and colleagues.

Seto didn't approach Amane until they were at the reception, which was being hosted in the formal ballroom of a hotel. He'd waited a few hours, watching her protectively from a distance and realizing that he hated not being able to be near her just because they were in public. He wanted to change that. The reception had devolved into more of a party, and he was surprised by how many people were here. Apparently, the bride had a large extended family and many friends to boot. If she was anywhere as loud or extroverted as her family was, he could understand why she and Amane weren't closer friends. He spotted Amane near the back of the room, in the shadows, absently sipping a glass of wine. Her expression was one of general stress and unhappiness, and Seto decided that he couldn't stay away from her any longer. He made his way over to her by slipping along the room's perimeter. She was probably as ready to leave as he was, given their more strongly introverted natures. Neither enjoyed being around so many strangers at once; both found it exhausting, though Seto had trained himself to be better able to cope with it, since it had become required if him as a CEO.

"How are you?" he asked quietly as he came to stand beside her, both facing the party.

"I'm fine." Her voice was unconvincing, and he knew better than to believe her.

"You look exhausted." It wasn't an accusation or a question, simply a gentle statement of fact.

"I couldn't sleep last night."

Unfortunately, he believed her. Her insomnia had always been worse than his, and while it was mostly remedied by now it still had a nasty habit of striking when they least expected it, though it usually happened during times of high stress.

"You seem ready to leave," he commented. The pinched expression on her face indicated suppressed pain, as he'd learned from experience, and he guessed that either her high heels were bothering her or she had a headache from the intrusive stimuli the party provided. She gave a small sigh of defeat and nodded, leaning her head against Seto's shoulder momentarily before straightening up again.

"I'll just go say goodbye before we leave," she murmured, straightening up and crossing the room to approach her brother and sister-in-law to hug them both and wish them happiness. She'd set down her wineglass on a table as she passed it while approaching them, and as she retreated, she picked up her shawl and purse from another table. While she said her goodbyes, Seto texted his chauffeur telling him to bring the limo around in order to take them to the mansion, and that once he dropped them off, he was to return to pick up Mokuba. He texted his brother to let him know that he was leaving, then slipped his phone into his pocket just as Amane returned. He offered an arm to her, and she slipped her hand inside the crook of his elbow, letting him escort her out of the party and out to the waiting limo.

The short ride was quiet, consisting of tired cuddling and a few polite comments about the day's events. She slipped her shoes off once they were settled in the backseat, and he smiled a little to himself. He would never understand why women wore uncomfortable shoes by choice.

* * *

Amane had changed into the offered set of pajamas when they arrived at the mansion, since she had nothing else to change into. Then she'd let her hair down, pulling out the many hairpins and depositing them in a crystal ashtray in Seto's bathroom. The billionaire didn't smoke, but his step-father had, and it didn't make sense t get rid of them, just in case he ever had guests who happened to smoke. Then she'd washed the make-up from her face, glad to remove all traces of the party from herself. Seto changed as well, and they immediately resumed their cuddling in the parlor, each with a mug of hot herbal tea. Amane was surly and quiet, and Seto thought long and hard before trying to tease anything out of her.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked tentatively. Though he'd faced her hormonal self a few times before, he still wasn't entirely sure of himself when confronted with an emotionally volatile female.

"Yes." He was surprised by the blunt, honest answer he received, but maybe that was the wine affecting her. She hadn't had too much, but it had been enough to make her a little tipsy.

"What's bothering you?" Seto started combing his fingers through her silky hair as he stared down at her. She had her head against his chest as she sat across his lap, cuddled up to his warmth as if his pajamas weren't enough. He liked seeing her wear his pajamas, liked seeing her wear anything of his for that matter, and he'd felt oddly pleased with himself when he'd discovered that to be a normal feeling.

"Yesterday." She still had her face turned away from him and seemed determined not to say anything more than was necessary.

Seto sighed regretfully. "I was afraid of that," he muttered, frustrated with himself more than anything. "I didn't think it was pertinent to tell you that I'm bisexual. It just didn't seem to matter at the—"

"Not that," Amane interrupted, shaking her head. Seto sat quietly as he tried to think of the right answer.

"Then, you're bothered because it was your brother that I first had a crush on," he concluded, sensing that he was entering dangerous, uncharted waters.

"Yes." He sensed that it bothered her more than she was willing to admit. Her reticence was beginning to frustrate him, but he throttled down his annoyance. After all, wasn't that the same way he'd been years ago? Wasn't he still that way with most people?

"What about that is bothering you?" He decided to keep it simple and straightforward; it was the best way to keep both of them honest.

"Well, because…" She faltered, then launched into a rambling rant about how similar she was to her brother, how she'd been mistaken for him oftentimes as a child, how they'd been asked repeatedly if they were twins. She went on and on, then ran out of words before she even got to the point of it all, leaving Seto to draw his own conclusions.

"So… you think that I like you because I still like Ryou and he's taken?" he hazarded cautiously. She nodded quietly, and he found himself wishing that she could have at least looked him in the eyes and said as much herself. It was also upsetting that she doubted him so much after everything they'd experienced together. "How could you think that of me?"

Amane flinched as she heard the pain and betrayal in his voice. She would have preferred anger, she could have handled his anger. Then they could have yelled at each other and she could have walked out and slammed the door, feeling perfectly justified for leaving him. As it was, his anguish only made her more upset, and the wine tore the truth from her lips before she could think: "Because it's happened before!" At this point, she couldn't hold back the tears induced by the memories being stirred up in the back of her mind.

Seto inhaled sharply, surprised by her outcry and the sudden waterworks. She tried to pull away from him, but he pulled her right back, bringing her close and laying her head against his shoulder as he processed her words. _It's happened before._ In a flash, he understood that this wasn't about him at all, that she did in fact trust him and his intentions. This was about something else that had happened in the past, and her being reminded of it just a little too much, causing her to suspect that it was happening again.

"What do you mean, it's happened before? _What_ happened?" He needed to get the details if he was to straighten out the mess she'd made between her own ears.

She shook her head and continued to cry, and he offered her tissues as needed. "I don't want to talk about it," she muttered between sniffles.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," Seto insisted, refusing to let her shut him out.

She made a conscious effort to control her tears, to cease her sobs. She looked deeply troubled, and Seto couldn't for the life of him guess what it was that had her so riled up. She was reluctant to speak, but with some tender reassurance from him, she eventually loosed her lips to tell the tale.

"You remember the Spirit of the Millennium Ring, don't you?" He nodded, confused that she was starting with something so long past. "Well, my brother got the artifact from our father when he was little, and it wasn't until later on that I realized what was happening. I only saw the Spirit a few times now and then, sometimes when he was sneaking out in the middle of the night, sometimes when he was coming back from doing God knows what. But when I was thirteen…" She faltered again, her breathing labored as she fought down the anxiety and panic that recalling this memory incurred.

He rubbed her back in what he hoped was a calming manner; he'd never seen her this distressed before.

"I was thirteen when he started to actually take notice of me. He'd harass me every now and again, and for a while, he didn't do anything worse than that. But then…" He could tell that it took every ounce of her strength to keep going. "Late one night, before he left for one of his escapades, he came into my room. I-I was almost asleep, and I didn't realize at first that it wasn't Ryou." She trembled as she relived the vivid details of that night. She pressed her face into his chest as she started to sob again, and Seto let her, placing a hand on the back of her head as he cradled her against himself. He could see where this was going.

"He… hurt you, didn't he?" The pause in his question said everything. She nodded.

"He said… he said that since he couldn't have Ryou, because they were one and the same, that I was the next best thing. He said that I would take his place just fine. And... and he said more things like that. He wouldn't stop."

He shushed her as she became increasingly more upset, and muttered, "That bastard." Seto was angry that something so terrible had been done to her, then something else occurred to him. "Does your brother know?"

"Of course not!" Amane pulled back to look him in the eye, and Seto's heart ached to see the tear-stained cheeks and red eyes. "Do you know how traumatizing it was for him to be the 'host' of that vile demon? He would wake up at home covered with another man's blood and have no idea how it got there. He would find himself in possession of weapons and drugs and not know how they got there. He thought he was going crazy. He even got arrested once for something the Spirit had done. They ended up releasing him, saying it was a case of mistaken identity, but Ryou almost went back because he felt like it was still his fault for being unable to stop him. The only reason he didn't was because he still had to look after me." She took a deep, shuddering breath before continuing. "I couldn't tell him back then because there was no telling what it would do to him when he was already so troubled and unstable. I can't tell him now because it would just reopen all of those old wounds, make him remember all the things he's worked so hard to forget." She collapsed against Seto, who figured it was time to get her to bed. She needed sleep.

As he carried her bridal style down the hallway towards his bedroom, he spoke to her softly, soothingly. "I love you Amane. I love you for who you are, not for being anybody else. I promise that I won't let anybody hurt you like that ever again. I don't want anybody else by my side for the rest of my life, I just want you." She was already half asleep when he started tucking her into bed. He kissed her cheek as he slid in beside her, hoping that her mind was less troubled when she woke up.

* * *

Amane woke up with Seto's lips to her own. They kissed languidly in the faint light of dawn, and when they broke apart for air, Seto murmured, "Are you feeling better now, my darling?"

She smiled, eyes soft and dewy. "Much better, dear."

He nuzzled against her neck and they rested together quietly for a few moments before Amane stirred again. "Seto, did you say something to me last night about me being the only one you want by your side for the rest of your life?"

The smile he gave her made warmth bloom insider her chest. "Yes, I did, and I meant every word of it."


End file.
